Aug 15, 2011
Every time I hear my friends talk about their best friends since childhood I can’t help but feel a little jealous/sad. I wish I had a friend from childhood, those friendship seem to always last, unlike the friendships you have as an adult. It’s almost like the older we get the more selfish and uncaring we become. In the last 4.5yrs I’ve lost 3 “best friends” I guess they were never my best friends but only people I spent most of my time with. Some of them I can honestly say I didn’t quite enjoy being around, but I preferred spending time with them than being alone. Same goes with relationships, the older we get the more difficult it becomes to fall in love. In the past couple of years I started to appreciate being alone, no one else but me and my thoughts. I’m finally learning to love myself again, and even though I have amazing people I can call friends at the moment, I wouldn’t be surprise if one day they are no longer a part of my life (I really hope that doesn’t happen). Relationships are a different story though, not too long ago I felt like I could let my guard down and allow myself to fall in love, only to be reminded why it is that I have so much trouble letting my guard down and why I shouldn’t have done it in the first place. All in all, these experiences have taught me a whole lot, and I’ve learned about myself through the people that came in and out of my life. I guess I should be grateful for that.